Man Goes Fishing, Catches A Drunk Naked Woman

If you’ve ever so much as dipped a toe in the dating pool you’ll have heard that there are plenty of fish in the sea. And luckily, most of them know they’re not really fish. Most of them. But recently, in an absurd case of life imitating proverb, a fuckeyed woman in the Atlantic Ocean […]

Cops Shut Down Busker For Playing Wonderwall Super Shittily

Ah Wonderwall, what was once the triumphant crooning of a generation has transformed itself into the backbone of many, many underwhelming acoustic sets. While Wonderwall’s popularity might have deteriorated and everyone collectively rolls their eyes when it comes on, you can’t deny that belting out “AND AFTER ALLLLLL” is one of lives greatest pleasures. No one […]

Llama Squares Up To Shit-Hot Bear & Saves Family Of Ducks

Llamas are a volatile bunch. One minute they’re looking at you as if they’re the cutest little critter in the world, and the next they’ve spat in your face because they simply don’t give a flying fuck. One rather brave (or foolish) llama continued this trend by squaring up to a full-grown grizzly bear in […]

White Nationalists Are Getting Awkward Results On Their Ancestry Tests

Genetic ancestry tests are cracking eggs onto the faces of white nationalists everywhere, as many of the self-proclaimed ‘purebreds’ are discovering that they’re not so ‘pure’ after all. In a study presented earlier this week, sociologists Aaron Panofsky and Joan Donovan discuss how a number of quasi-European racial extremists are being shunned and exiled by their […]

Escaped Tortoise Found 2 Weeks Later Just 140m From Zoo

Ah, tortoises, well known for their love of pizza and fighting crime, helping small fish find their son and most of all, their inability to move anywhere very quickly. It’s perhaps the latter that serves as the humble tortoise’s most notable quality, but it looks like our shell-endowed friends can add one more skill to […]