In Australia, it feels like we get shafted with the raw end of the stick when it comes to dealers. Most of them are proper bogans who don’t reply till 3-5 buisness days later and the ones that do make you feel as if they’re doing you a favour for talking to you at all.
It’s a far cry from what goes on in other parts of the world, where dealers have to compete with each other to get your attention, take at look at the glorious Instagram page Shotta Texts if you’d like to see what I mean.
Just as a bit of fancy wordplay can work wonders with a hesitant customer, it can also pull the wool over a sympathetic judge’s eyes who thinks if you can spell properly you clearly aren’t a criminal.
Teenager Luke Rance found himself in hot water after he bought weed in bulk with the aim to sell it to 21-year-old dealer Brandon Kerrison but he was caught mid-deal and police eventually searched his apartment finding 2 bags of weed worth over $2K each.
The pair were slapped with a whole host of charges, including possession of cannabis with intent to supply and being concerned in the supply of cannabis while Rance, also from Southgate, admitted possession of cannabis with intent and simple possession of cocaine.
Both of the lad’s lawyers went pretty hard on the angle that they’re really good lads with lots of prospects on the horizon, and the judge should take that into account when sentencing.
Well not only did he do that, he even dished the pair of young professionals a compliment, saying that their level of grammar and punctuation when texting about drugs was nearly unheard of amongst other dealers, clearly alluding to the fact that these fine young gents had gotten on the wrong side of the law.
The judge said he “did not want to fetter the prospects of the young men with custodial sentences” and slapped them with a 12-month community order with 100 hours of unpaid work. In addition Kerrison will have to complete a rehabilitation programme.
Next time you’re sending that cheeky 3 am “you around mate?” text make sure you use proper grammar, it could save your life.
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