Environmentally Conscious Drug Dealers Have Started Dishing Product Up In Reuseable Containers

Drug dealers aren’t exactly known for being exemplary human beings, in fact their poor organisational and time-keeping skills have been well documented since the Aztecs were trying to get cups of hot chocolate.

Yet a new push from eco-friendly dealers is set to revolutionise the lazy and inconsiderate stereotype, as a number of dealers around the world are now pushing for reusable containers to sell their product.

Speaking to Metro.co.uk, one rack sniffer said he couldn’t believe it at first. ‘I was given a gram of cocaine in this plastic pod thing and my dealer said they were not serving up in plastic ziploc bags or wraps any more.”

“He said that I could bring it back if I wanted to and he would refill it and that it would be better for the environment.”

“I thought he was joking but he was serious, he reckoned they used so many plastic baggies and paper and a reusable container would be easier than wrapping up individual wraps,” he said.

“I told him I was not bothered about the environment and surely cocaine itself can’t be that be eco-friendly but he reckoned he had a load of hipster customers and they loved it.”

It’s pretty unlikely to outweigh the devastating deforestation that occurs during the cocaine production phase, or help any of the families that have had people die as a result of the trade.

But hey, at least when an investment banker from Sydney drunkenly pulls $300 out of an ATM, he knows his money is going to an ethical dealer.


If you have a story that you'd like to share, please submit it here.