25 Words Bob Katter Can Use Instead Of ‘Gay’

So Bob Katter – that Aussie pollie with the platinum hair and the cowboy hat and the guns – is losing sleep.

You see, when Bob was young, the word ‘gay’ had nothing to do with one’s sexual orientation. Back in his day, apparently, to be ‘gay’ was to be happy: “the most beautiful word in the English language”, according to the man in the hat with the guns. And he really ought to know – he got 84% in English, in case you were wondering.

But then “the homosexuals… they took the word gay”, and now Bob’s not feeling very gay at all.

Image: Moran Prizes

It can be pretty confusing, to be fair: this whole business of semantic shift. You think a word means one thing, you think you know a word and can trust it and teach it to your kids, and then it goes and turns all gay on you. The times they are a-changin’, and this is a problem for Bob. For Bob, ‘happy’ and ‘homosexual’ could not possibly be synonymous.

Whether he likes it or not, though, the new ‘gay’ is here to stay.

But that’s okay Bob: because there’s a whole lexicon of words that you can use to describe your – or dare we say any Australian’s – happiness. Try a couple of these on for size:

  • blissful
  • bouncy
  • cheerful
  • chipper
  • ecstatic
  • equal
  • festive
  • free
  • frivolous
  • frolicsome
  • fun-loving
  • glad
  • gleeful
  • jovial
  • joyful
  • joyous
  • jubilant
  • merry
  • playful
  • pleasure-seeking
  • proud
  • spirited
  • sprightly
  • vivacious
  • zippy

Expand your mind, Bob. There’s no reason why we can’t all be gay together.

Feature image: Spontaneity Review


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