KFC’s Facing A Chicken Shortage and Closing Down Its Stores

Being an adult in 2018 is wonderful, insofar as you can get yourself a 21-piece-feed whenever and wherever you like. 21 pieces of artery-clogging chicken. That’s a lot of dirty birds. But what happens when the chickens run out? It’s a conundrum that hundreds of KFC restaurants around Britain are facing currently, as the golden […]

Monkey Gets Drunk, Goes On A Rampage and Falls Asleep At The Bar

There’s a theory in anthropology known as the ‘drunk monkey hypothesis‘. It essentially posits that alcoholic apes – those who had a predilection for getting fuckeyed on naturally-occurring ethanol – were favoured by natural selection, insofar as their alcoholism heightened their appetite for fermented fruit and increased their intake of calories. On this model, we […]

Sorry, But Now There’s Rugrats Porn

Rule #34 of the internet states that: “If it exists, there is porn of it – no exception.” It’s a law that’s been proven right time after god-awful time, and one that has serious, far-reaching implications. Because many things exist. Many, many things that should never be made into porn for reasons that we really […]

School Kids Shown Porn Instead of ‘Paddington’

Pre-adolescence is a formative period in one’s life. It really shapes a person, you know? Things stay with you. Like, I remember when I was a boy we watched ‘Beethoven’. The film with the dog whose name is Beethoven. The dog doesn’t speak or engage in any tomfoolery, really. He just exists – your run-of-the-mill […]

This Famous Entrepreneur is Hoping to Bring Bidets into The Western World

If you’ve ever been to Asia, there’s a good chance you’ll have acquainted yourself with the bidet. The bum gun. The super soaker for your sphincter. For the unacquainted, the humble bidet is defined by Wikipedia as “a plumbing fixture or type of sink intended for washing the genitalia… inner buttocks, and anus of the human body.” And while the sensation of water jets shooting […]

NASA’s Released The Perfect Vinyl For Your Acid Trip

Just over 40 years ago, NASA produced a pair of phonographic records, strapped them to rockets and fired them into space. Contained on these ‘Voyager Golden Records’ was an eclectic collection of sounds, songs and images intended to portray the diversity of life on Earth. And the idea, more or less, was that intergalactic aliens […]