If you stacked up everything that was good about golf next to everything that was laborious, tedious and downright unpleasant, you’d have a good argument for never going near a nine iron again. Golf is shit. And one of the many things that makes it shit is having to lug a sack of metal poles around a 100-acre field.
The golfing institution figured they’d solved this problem hundreds of years ago with the introduction of caddies: slaves in sweater vests, essentially, to shoulder all that heavy lifting. Except that most people don’t really want to employ another human being to carry their baggage for them and stand around awkwardly and have an altogether terrible time.
Well what about goats, then? Could goats, the perennial punching bag of the animal kingdom, maybe carry all that pesky equipment for us? Yes – goats. Perhaps they could.
(Image: Golf Digest)
A golf course in New Oregon is getting with the times and offering players the opportunity to hire a professionally-trained ‘goat caddie.’ The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch raises the animals themselves, teaching them the nuanced art of caddying from a young and tender age.
Every goat caddie comes ready-equipped with a special pack to carry your drinks, golf balls, tees and clubs.
“We’re taking the golf experience at Silvies Valley Ranch to a new level in 2018,” says Dr. Scott Campbell, the Ranch owner. “We’ve been developing an unprecedented caddie training program with our head caddie, Bruce LeGoat, to ensure that he and his team are ready… this summer.”
Yes, you read that right. ‘Bruce LeGoat.’ That is the name of the head caddie – whom, it bears repeating, is a goat.
“We’re truly redefining both goat and golf operations at the ranch. Can you think of another course where its caddies were literally born, raised and fully educated on-property? We will get you a caddie who really knows the course and won’t give you any bad advice – and they work for peanuts!”
It’s worth pointing out that this isn’t exactly a *revolution* as far as the sport’s concerned. A quick Google search will show that golfers have been getting animals to carry their shit around for time immemorial:
Image: Wikimedia Commons
Image: Get West LondonThe gentleman’s game indeed.
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Source: Golf Digest
Feature image: Country Living Magazine
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