The Guy Who Used To Play Barney Is Now A Tantric Sex Guru

In news that would absolutely crush and simultaneously terrify eight-year-old me, it turns out that the actor that played Barney the Dinosaur is now working as a tantric sex therapist.

And just like that, my childhood has been destroyed.

In an interview with Vice, American actor David Joyner, 52, recalls how his experience playing a lovable dinosaur on a TV show has helped him forge a career that helps people achieve sexual enlightenment.

“The energy I brought up [while] in the costume is based on the foundation of tantra, which is love,” Joyner said. “Everything stems, grows, and evolves from love.”

Unsurprisingly, old mate only accepts female clients and charges $350 for a four-hour session, which includes a ritual bath, chakra balancing, a massage… and some earth-shattering orgasms.

Joyner reckons that the best way to achieve a blissful state is through unprotected penetrative sex, so pretty much just what the doctor ordered. He reckons that condoms block “the energy” and honestly, who am I to argue with such a qualified professional.

Even better, Joyner asks his clients to sign a consent form and declare that they are free from STD’s before their sessions. One former client told Vice that her sessions were like a spiritual awakening.

You don’t need to have your chakras aligned to see that this guy is full of shit. Charging gullible people $350 for 4 hours of unprotected, penetrative sex is not the work of a spiritual guru.

Source: Vice

 

_________

If you have a story that you'd like to share, please submit it here.