It Turns Out Old People Are Stuffing Brie With MDMA & Getting Absolutely Off Their Rocker

For the majority of drug users, consuming MDMA usually means hurridly stepping into a nightclub cubicle or doing a brief scan of the dancefloor for seccies and undercover officers before you do a big ol’ dose of brain candy.

It certainly isn’t a civilised ritual, but it looks like middle-class women have cracked the most dignified way to chow down some pop rocks, and all you have to do is find a suitable brie cheese and go for ya life.

Speaking to Metro, one woman divulged all the juicy details regarding why they’re so crazy for some dingers:

“I have a strong circle of female friends and we had tried all the latest fads, food fashions and destination dinner parties but something was missing.”

“We did not seem to have as much of a laugh than as when we were younger, there always seemed to be barriers up between us.”

“So, one of our group suggested we all take MDMA together so we could open up to each other and improve our friendships.”

She reckons that one of her friend’s daughters slipped her a gram (!) and once they figured out that you eat it and not snort it, they were absolutely on their way.

“Nothing much happened for forty minutes then the colours in the rug seemed to be a more vivid and before I know it was in an in-depth conversation about my fantasy sex life with an old friend.

“It was such an intense experience. I am sure most of us at that party has done it with other friends so now wrapping MDMA in Brie seems to be a thing now.”

“A year later and I have been invited to ‘brieing parties’ and people seem to think it was all grand design but I assure you it was not. It is such a middle-class way to take drugs, that is probably why it has taken off.”

“Last time all the mums came over a civilised dinner party it ended with one of them wrapped up in the velvet curtains, one hallucinating at the bathroom wall and the others dancing to 90s rave music while playing the bongos in the sitting room.”

“It’s all good fun at the time but by Wednesday we wish we’d just watched Netflix and had a nice bottle of wine.”

Don’t worry ladies, we absolutely feel where you’re coming from.

 

 

 

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