If there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching hours of ‘RBT’, it’s that there’s no good excuse for driving under the influence. Another thing I’ve learned is that you should always give it a crack.
‘A couple of wines with dinner’ is a popular defence, as is the old ‘One beer with the boys a few hours ago’ trick. But these will hardly earn you any leniency once that breathalyser starts flashing, and they certainly won’t win you any respect. Your best bet is to go with an excuse so outrageous, so incredibly left-field and audacious that it blows the cops’ proverbial socks off.
Like, I don’t know… maybe you were making pasta, only instead of using water you decide to use vodka? That’s what 60-year-old Carla Kratz was doing, apparently, before getting behind the wheel and arousing the attention of nearby police.
After being pulled over for a roadside breath test, Carla told the officers that she had been “making pasta with vodka” and promptly blew a .338. That’s more than a quick dash of Mishka. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Association, in fact, .338 equates to more than 10 standard drinks for anyone weighing over 50kgs.
So there’s two possibilities here. The first is that Carla is not entirely telling the truth, and that in addition to whatever pasta she may or may not have been cooking she also necked a few shots of Sambuca. The other is that she’s being completely honest – and she makes a fucking rowdy ravioli.
In any case, she was very much arrested.
Source: Courier & Press
Feature image: Lovin Dublin
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