The world’s a pretty fucking terrifying place in 2017. We’re bombarded with constant threats of World War Three, adverse climate changes that threaten our very existence, and we’re still yet to find the McNugget Szechuan Sauce!
Just when you thought that we had enough to deal with, the universe throws yet another curveball in the mix. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to take a moment to introduce you to the ‘humanised’ version of your favourite underwater dwellers: Spongebob and Patrick.
I’m not entirely sure where to start. Spongebob looks like he’s very excited to put that spatula where the sun doesn’t shine whereas Patrick looks like a cross between Harambe and every nightmare I’ve ever had.
The rosey cheeks, unblinking blue eyes and extremely questionable body shape are enough to transform Spongebob from loveable family-friendly cartoon character to something that’s been conjured from the depths of hell. I mean Jesus, imagine this waking you up in the middle of the night.
Patrick is another matter altogether. The sunken in holes that form his eyes scream “Put me out of my misery before I put you out of yours” and his burly ham-sized fists let you know he’s not joking around either.
These creepy illustrations are the work of Miguel Vasquez, a 3-d artist who apparently specialises in bringing our worst nightmares to life. Have a look at his work here and try not to wet the bed thinking about human Spongebob.
Image: Miguel Vasquez
If you have a story that you'd like to share, please submit it here.