Science is a fucking buzzkill, hey.
Name anything that you love doing, like anything, and chances are a scientist somewhere has wagged their bony finger and clicked their forked devil-tongue and declared that it is simply no good. (Apart from sex, of course – scientists are actually pretty on board with sex).
The latest in this eternal list of nice-things-we-can’t-have is TV, according to the bubble-bursting jerks over at AsapSCIENCE. Whether you’re smashing through some House of Cards, watching all eight Fast and the Furious movies in succession or pwning n00bz in CoD, too much time spent in front of the screen could be putting you in an early grave.
Binge-watching is the real killer, insofar as it encourages the kind of “sedentary lifestyle” that leads to obesity and other potentially fatal health problems. AsapSCIENCE points out that not only is there “a documented correlation between TV viewing time and risk for diabetes and heart disease, but… multiple studies have found a correlation between TV viewing time and all causes of death.”
One study in particular coughed up the cheery statistic that for every hour you spend in front of the tele you’re docking about 22 minutes from your total lifespan.
And for those who like to dabble in a bit of Netflix and chill, you should know that men who watch more than 20 hours of TV a week average a 44% reduction in sperm – effectively halving your chances of havin’ a bubba. Your call as to whether that’s a pro or a con.
The cruel irony in all of this, of course, is that it was science who got us to this screen-loving point in the first place. It’s the equivalent of a doctor telling us we can’t have our cake and eat it too, when it was them who baked the cake and gave it to us and also WHAT DO I WANT WITH THIS STUPID FUCKING CAKE IF I CAN’T EVEN EAT IT?!
It’s very important to note, however, that the major concern is eating the whole cake in one sitting. AsapSCIENCE does concede that, when consumed in moderation of about two hours a day and offset by the odd run around the park, a little bit of TV won’t hit you too hard.
If it’s self-control we’re counting on, though, then we’re all as good as fucked.
Source: High Snobiety
Feature image: The Odyssey Online
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