If you’ve ever walked into a 7-Eleven after midnight, there’s a good chance you’ve seen a crackhead scoffing down some Krispy Kreme. It’s about the closest thing to meth you can get for less than a fiver at 2 in the morning. Seriously, have you tried one of these things? Fucking dopamine.
Quite importantly though, Krispy Kreme doughnuts do not actually contain any methamphetamines. I checked the nutritional information on this: 25% your recommended daily intake of saturated fat, yes, but crystal meth? Nup.
So why, you might ask, was an innocent man arrested on drug charges after police found doughnut icing on the floor of his car? That is the 37,500 dollar question.
This smiling sweetheart is Orlando, Florida resident Daniel Rushing. Daniel, 65, treats himself to a Krispy Kreme doughnut every other Wednesday. And why shouldn’t he? Nothin’ wrong with treatin’ yourself.
Local police took issue with Daniel, however, after stopping him for a roadside drug test as he pulled out of 7-Eleven. Corporal Shelby Riggs-Hopkins wrote in an arrest report that she saw “a rock-like substance on the floor board where his feet were.”
Now I’m just gonna jump to the plot twist here and point out that this ‘rock-like substance’ was not meth. It was doughnut icing. As we’ve clarified, the two are not the same thing, despite both being highly addictive and very shitty for your health.
Nonetheless, the officers performed a series of roadside tests – which somehow came back positive for an illegal substance – and threw Danny boy in the slammer. Now he’s gone and sued them for it, and received a cheeky $37,500 payout.
Converted into Australian dollars, that’s exactly 17,370 original glazed Krispy Kreme doughnuts – which Daniel will likely be crushing up and mainlining straight into his arteries.
Onya Daniel!
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Source: Orlando Sentinel
Feature image: USA Today
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