25 Words Bob Katter Can Use Instead Of ‘Gay’

So Bob Katter – that Aussie pollie with the platinum hair and the cowboy hat and the guns – is losing sleep. You see, when Bob was young, the word ‘gay’ had nothing to do with one’s sexual orientation. Back in his day, apparently, to be ‘gay’ was to be happy: “the most beautiful word […]

How To Absolutely Nail A First Date

Words by Jenna Morrissey Dating certainly has its perks, like free food and much-needed validation. For the most part, though, dating in and of itself is the worst. It is the land where basic respect and human decency go right out the proverbial window. That is, if you’re doing it correctly. Now technically going on […]

A Scumbag’s Guide To Cheating The Self-Checkout

Jane goes to the supermarket to buy three avocados. Upon reaching the self-serve checkout, she is politely asked by the machine to enter the amount of avocados that she is buying today. The machine has no way of knowing the actual amount, and will believe whatever answer Jane gives. How many avocados does Jane have? […]

How Nannying Shocked Me Into Abstinence

As a nanny through most of my university years, I’ve seen some things. Things I can’t unsee. Between glassy-eyed mothers, balding fathers, and the war zone that is the after school pick up line, it’s safe to say parenting ain’t all that and a lunchbox-size bag of chips. The modern world has conditioned us to […]