How Nannying Shocked Me Into Abstinence

As a nanny through most of my university years, I’ve seen some things. Things I can’t unsee. Between glassy-eyed mothers, balding fathers, and the war zone that is the after school pick up line, it’s safe to say parenting ain’t all that and a lunchbox-size bag of chips. The modern world has conditioned us to […]

How To Tell Someone They Stink

  Words by Tahlia Svingos If I stank, I’d want someone to tell me. I’m not talking about a light end-of-day musk, or an I spent way too much time on the dance floor kinda scent. I’m talking about the kind of room-filling, foul odor that seeps from someone’s body almost every time you see […]

You Know What Grinds My Gears? ‘Cash Only’

Cash is dead. Unless you’re a hitman, a drug dealer, or a brothel creeper with a shared savings account, bank notes these days are about as handy as tits on a proverbial bull. The kind of proverbial bull that has no interest whatsoever in looking sexy, mind you. That is to say: not very handy. […]

Is It Wrong To Eat Octopus?

Gwyneth Paltrow, the she-wolf who ripped out the bleeding heart of all-round gentle weeper Chris Martin, is certainly no moral exemplar. Like, she named her kid Apple– possibly after the fruit but also probably almost definitely after the tyrannical super-corporation that controls the modern world. She also called lube “toxic” and thus forced thousands of […]

You Know What Grinds My Gears? Smoke Breaks

For five years of my life that felt like ten years of my life, I worked in pubs and bars. I am not without my grievances. I mean, if you take the shitty hours, the shittier patrons and the body clock of an over-caffeinated bat then what you have there is a bitter, God-awful cocktail. […]

How To Fend Off A Quarter-Life Crisis

I had my first ageing-related crisis when I was nine. This was because I believed in animal reincarnation right up until my mum hit me with the hard facts, shortly after my ninth birthday (she was as shocked as I was–we are not religious, and definitely not Hindus). Some people say they lost their childhood […]