It’s a tale as old as time itself. You’re on a train, minding your own business when suddenly you look up and see the most magical creature you’ve ever laid eyes on sitting opposite.
You flash a cheeky smile, she smiles back, one thing leads to another and suddenly you’ve got ya Long-John-Silver out for a bit of afternoon delight on the quiet carriage.
Truly, it’s a situation we’ve ALL encountered, which is exactly what Shane Laurence Brennan want’s us to realise after he was slapped with a $700 fine and placed on a good behaviour bond for letting a woman suck him off on a train.
Speaking to the Daily Mail, the turned-on traveller said that he was minding his own business when a woman approached him and asked for sex.
‘(The woman on the train) was pretty horny and ready to go. Toey as,’ he said.
He declined her generous offer, and instead opted for a blowjob, which she more than happily got stuck into.
“She was the one masturbating,” he said. “If she didn’t offer me nothing I wouldn’t have fucking done it.”
“As soon as the deed was done I was out of there and off,” he said.
After he finished, he then proceeded to pour a bottle of Coke over himself, which he assured police wasn’t piss and was purely for hygiene purposes.
‘Cos honestly, what doesn’t say responsible sex like showering off with Coca-Cola after a cheeky blowy from a stranger on a train.
“You’d think the train guard would’ve said, ‘Good on ya, mate’,” he said, then wondering, “How many fucking men would have knocked it back?”
Apparently, old mate’s a bit pissed that the story got out. Not because he’s ashamed, but because he’s worried about his partner and three kids finding out.
Oh Australia, I fucking love you.
Image: Matt Fryer
If you have a story that you'd like to share, please submit it here.