Reports of Hostile Gunman at Shopping Centre Turns Out to be Bloke with a Plunger

Shopping centres are pretty shit aren’t they? They seem to be exclusively attended by Mum’s who diligently tick off a list of errands one by one, people who look like they sit way to close to the person next to them on the bus and high-schoolers who are embarrassingly cringe-worthy but still seem to have a better social life than you.

While shopping centres CAN be a cesspit of chain stores and shit coffee shops, at least we can thank them for food courts, a heavenly place where both deep-fried chicken and MSG-laden noodles are at your fingertips. If you think that the terribleness of shopping centres is confined to the heavily sheened entry and exit points, then you are sadly mistaken.

A lot of awful things go down in the carparks of behemoth shopping centres as well, just ask that kid from your high school who got “jumped” by some fellas from another school in Year 8. You might expect to see some gangly pubescent kids punching on or “having a pash” but the last thing you’d expect to see is some bloke toting a full-on weapon while you undertake your Sunday shop.

Well, that’s sorta what happened at one shopping mall in America, except the poor bloke’s only crime was carrying some tools of the trade. A shopping centre in California recently went into lockdown after someone reported seeing a man with a rifle in the car-park, but it turns out he was actually a plumber with a plunger.

The authorities closed down the mall and put the surrounding area on lockdown and patrons were kept inside as everyone wondered what had interrupted their shopping. Police then made the shocking discovery that the bloke was only rocking a plunger and re-opened the surrounding areas.

Imagine the poor dude’s face when the police rocked up, armed and ready to deal with an unstable gunman, yet all he’s done is get his work tools out the car. It’s almost like when gangsters used to put guns in guitar cases, except much less impressive and with more shit on the weapon.

Source: OC Register 

Image: Illawarra post



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