Old Codger Fed Up With Wife’s Nagging Hid In A Forest For 10 Years

Marriage is tough. I say that speculatively as I am a 20-year-old male who doesn’t have the faintest inkling of what a marriage would be like, but judging by how much my Mum and Dad used to fight on Christmas morning, I’m sure it wasn’t easy.

Like all things, there are ups and downs when it comes to marriage. Except, if you’re 62-year-old gardener Malcolm Applegate, who decided to up sticks and leave when his wive’s nagging got too much.

Hang on guys, you’re in for a ride.

“First of all I met her in Eastbourne and I married her in Birmingham.

“For three years it was alright, we got on with one another and the gardening got too much for her.

“She said, ‘Why don’t we have more time together?’ I said, ‘How can I? I have been recommended to people’.

“I just upped and left, I got fed up with her because we used to get so many arguments.
‘It took me three weeks to get back to London.

“I didn’t lock my bike up in Oxford and someone helped themselves to it, so I had to walk back from Oxford.”

Btw, that’s a near 19 hour walk.


After he got to London, Malcolm camped in thick woodland in London’s south-west while doing some gardening at a local community centre for the elderly.

“There were three of us camping.

“They were just camping around with me because at the time I was working in the centre and we used to go there for a wash and a shower.

“No one knew we were there. It’s not well known – nobody would go in there.”

Malcolm had lost contact with his sister while he was sleeping rough and she thought he had been dead for the last 10 years.

“It had been a decade years since I’d last seen her, and in that time she had been to all of the Salvation Army hostels in the south trying to find me.

“I think she assumed I was dead.

“I wrote her a letter once I was settled in Greenwich and she phoned me up, in floods of tears.

“We now have a great relationship again.”

Fuck me, not even an insta dm?

Old mate has now moved into the Emmaus Greenwich centre, a shelter for the homeless in Greenwich, south London and spends his time raising spare cash to donate to homeless charities.

It’s great that he’s doing well now, but you can’t help but ask why the fuck he didn’t crash with his sister or just straight up get divorced???

Ah well, the mysteries of the universe shall never be known.

Source: NZ Herald



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