Mastermind Caught Smuggling Vodka Inside A Salami Sandwich

Anyone who claims the youth of today lacks imagination, creativity, or a faculty for lateral thinking ought to accompany them to a music festival or sporting event. When it comes to gaming those pesky security checkpoints, the ingenuity of the average substance-smuggling punter is truly something to behold.

I for one have seen saddies stitched into headbands and oranges injected with absinthe. Pingers stowed in sunscreen bottles. A bag full of MDMA caps buried in an impenetrable jar of Vegemite. And that’s surely just the tip of a great, crack-rock-shaped iceberg.

But one Macgyver-grade mule in particular scored herself a gold star over the weekend, earning the applause of the very guards she was trying to dupe when she was caught smuggling a bottle of vodka inside a salami sandwich.

Suspicions were aroused when security at Southwell Racecourse – in Nottinghamshire, England – realised that the woman’s would-be lunch weighed a tad more than your average hoagie. After asking her to open the sandwich up for inspection, the guards discovered a 350-millilitre bottle of vod tucked in amongst the salami and tomato.

While the sauced-up sub was tragically confiscated at the gate, the guards promised to hold on to it for the woman out of respect for her Da Vinci-esque innovation.

“We usually confiscate the alcohol and destroy it, but on this occasion, impressed by the lady’s ingenuity, we decided she could collect it after racing had finished,” said a spokesperson for Southwell. “Needless to say, she didn’t collect the bottle and it is still sat in the racecourse office.”

The current whereabouts of the sandwich is unknown.
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Source: FOX News
Images: Southwell Racecourse

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