Man Mistaken For Peter Dutton On Twitter Is Coming To Australia To Spread Peace And Love

Imagine waking up one morning to a social media shit storm that wasn’t even supposed to be for you but you, unfortunately, copped due to having a very unlucky last name, it’d be the absolute worst.

Just ask American man Peter Dutton, who after our little leadership spill last week was forced to endure the anger of thousands of Australians who confused him with… the other.

Turns out old mate sells gourmet popcorn and is keen to start shipping it to Australia, whether he’s coming on business or pleasure it looks like he’s ready to turn up and have a large one.

Have a gander at a statement he wrote on his Twitter, the bloody sweetheart.

Just days ago, after an outpouring of messages expressing both hope and concern about our collective future, I shouldered responsibility and offered my name as The People’s Prime Minister of Popcorn.

… In the first step of fulfilling my campaign promise, I will lead a diplomatic fact-finding mission to Sydney, Australia to discuss my new health, education, and trade initiatives. I will be accompanied by my wife Audre, The People’s First Lady and kindergarten school teacher.

My “security detail” has planned the trip for Monday, 08 October 2018 – Friday 12 October 2018 and have placed me on a rigorous schedule to complete marsupial training certificates in kangaroo defence and koala cuddling. I plan to have mastered these techniques by the time of my arrival.

You bloody beauty.


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