Man Breaks Into Home To Steal Vodka And Cook Fried Chicken

Coming home and seeing that someone’s devoured something that you’ve been fantasising about all day is quite literally the worst thing that can ever happen, ever. Opening up the fridge door with baited breath, ready to tuck into those delicious leftovers you were saving, and seeing that some poor excuse for a human being has got there before you is enough to trigger some sort of psychotic episode.

But what would you do, if say, you came home one day and found some absolute stranger cooking up a feed in your own home? Florida resident Samantha O’Neal experienced exactly that after coming home from a long shift at work to discover alleged burglar Ronald Gregory Wesly standing at her stove, calmly frying a chicken and sizzling some sausage.

Apparently, before he was so rudely interrupted by Samantha and her sister Melissa, he’d taken it upon himself to wash down his yet-to-be cooked chicken with a few glasses of Russian potato juice, and was suitably cooked.

“He was in here, drunk as a skunk, just being Betty Crocker,” Melissa told FOX 35.

The sisters were understandably taken aback by the presence of a drunk bloke cooking fried chicken in their house. “I was scared. My sister was more scared,” Samantha explained.  “I just wanted him off the property, so I picked him up and threw him out the gate.” Wesly was quickly apprehended by police in the area and is now looking down the barrel at felony charges of burglary and larceny.

To his merit, the sisters said that Wesly isn’t a half bad cook. “My buddy had eaten the chicken and said it was seasoned very well,” Samantha said. Ronald also managed to find some support on Twitter, with people rallying behind the worthwhile cause of cooking fried chicken where and whenever you goddamn please.

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