I am the best
I predicted Apple’s stock would fall
I will build a great, great wall
I build buildings that are 94 stories tall
My hands – are they small?
The words of Donald Trump will outlive us all. Never, in the history of the English language or the American political system, have a president’s mindless, garrulous ramblings been immortalised in quite the same way as The Donald’s: via tweets, and memes, and eternal op ed think pieces. Now, even, in poetic verse.
The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump celebrates Trump as an inadvertent wordsmith; an accidental bard, whose veritable shitstorm of witless drivel can be percolated down into slices of aesthetic profundity.
Writer Rob Long compiled the book alongside the Trump Twitter Archive, the Trump Archive and American Presidency Project, trawling through the President’s endless backlog of trash talk with a fine-toothed comb: collecting tweets, quotes and snippets of conversation and rearranging them into pieces of art. The result is a work that, through a meticulous method of cut-and-paste, sheds a glorious new light on the words of Donald Trump.
Take the above poem, which caricatures the President’s megalomanic tendencies; or the below, which portrays Trump the misogynist through a collection of perverse paraphrases:
Hot little girl in highschool
I’m a very compassionate person (With a very high IQ)
Just think, in a couple of years, I’ll be dating you
It must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees
Come here, I’ll show you how life works. Please
Does this in fact make Donald Trump a poet? It might seem like a logical leap. Leave a monkey with a typewriter for long enough and it’ll compose the entire works of Shakespeare. Trump’s probably just the loudest monkey with the biggest typewriter there is.
But Sears believes there’s more to it than that.
“[Trump] does speak in very compact, distilled phrases that tell you a lot about who he is, in a small number of words. So it’s not that far away from poetry,” says Sears. “Lots of declarative sentences, a staccato rhythm. There is no complexity to anything he says. People have said he writes like a third grader with a limited vocabulary. I’ve read so many of his words and there really are no exceptions.”
Grab yourself a copy of Trump’s “strictly unauthorised” poetic works here.
Source: The Guardian
Feature image: Canongate
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