‘Goatgram’ Lets You Send Flowers To Your Love, Delivered By A Pair Of Goats

The words ‘I love you’ are thrown around a lot these days. Talk is cheap, yadda yadda. But when was the last time you actually showed your appreciation for that special someone with a romantic gesture? Was it Valentine’s Day? It was Valentine’s Day, wasn’t it. Take a good hard look at yourself.

Now I, for one, have never really seen the big appeal in a bouquet of flowers. Very cliche, very overpriced, very useless. Why not buy your lover a gift they can do something with – like a pizza, or a yo-yo, or some anal beads?

But – BUT – what if that bouquet of flowers was delivered, right to your door, by a pair of goats? And what if, after briefly appreciating these exquisite flowers in all their useless beauty, you were given the opportunity to feed them straight back into the chompers of those very same goats?! The goats who delivered them! Little post-goats!

I don’t think I need to explain how wonderful that would be. And the good news is that this is a real thing, it exists, you can have your flowers delivered by post-goats and then have them eaten right in front of you too.

Image: Twitter, @MollyRiehl

It’s called a ‘Goatgram’, and it’ll only set you back around $130 AUD. The short-term problem is that Goatgrams are currently restricted to “the greater Portland and Vancouver metro areas” of the United States. But don’t worry: this is 2017, goats are the new pugs, and it’s surely only a matter of time before this excellent business makes its way down under.

Goatgrams are also currently limited to two a day, according to the farm’s website, “to allow time for our goats to be just goats.” By which they probably mean this:

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Source and image: KOIN

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