In this, the age of Facetime, Skype and Youjizz Live, long-distance relationships have never been easier. But the hurdle of lacking physical intimacy has always been hard to overcome– no matter how high the resolution on your boyfriend’s dick pic, it just doesn’t come close to replicating the real, bodily interaction.
A dystopian new gadget is taking weird steps towards changing that. The Kissenger is a smartphone attachment that lets you ‘kiss’ your partner from afar. The device is fitted with a small silicone pad, designed to feel just like human skin, which transmits signals to a paired device when users press their lips to it. Both the movements and pressure of the lips is recreated on the receiving end, thus very creepily replicating the kiss in real-time.
Soulja Boy, tell ’em:
The Kissenger offers three modes of interaction. Aside from the classic human-to-human smooch, users will also be able to engage in a ‘Human to Robot kiss’, “enabling an intimate relationship with a robot”, and the ‘Human to Virtual character physical/virtual kiss’, where “humans can kiss virtual characters while playing games”– meaning you can finally snog on with Princess Peach, if the promiscuous girl will have you.
Of course, anything which refers to its users as “humans” in the product description is inherently kind of fucked up, and the Kissenger has fucked up written all over its little plastic lips. Because we are in fact humans, though, there’s absolutely no way people won’t use this for sexual ends– bringing us one, potentially misplaced step closer to long-distance robotic sex.
Lovotics, the company responsible for the Kissenger, also peddles a range of devices they call ‘Mini-Surrogates’: in other words, terrifying miniature robotic dolls designed to recreate real human presence. We are deadest living an episode of Black Mirror right now.
Feature image: Resonate
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