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Sometimes when I haven’t shaved or showered in awhile, the moment I wake up I take photos of myself and put them in a folder called ‘portfolio’ on my desktop. When I see an ‘emergency‘ advertisement on social media for a model, I apply using said photos. To avoid a repetitive feel within the portfolio, I use an array of locations. Sometimes I’ll take the pictures before I even get out of bed, but I predominantly interchange between the shower, toilet and closet. If I’m feeling super creative, I’ll strategically place an awkward prop in the background, like a roll of toilet paper in a pan on the stove, or a frozen chicken on the toilets cistern. I accompany my portfolio with a long winded rant about how I am innovative and forward thinking in the way that I model. I attempt to convey that I am a subject of my creative confines as the worlds first pedodextourous SLR photographer/model – a true master of the timing function. In the email, I’ll reference brands that don’t exist and use terminology that truly frustrates the recipient. I don’t know why I do it. Maybe its because I’m not attractive enough to send a legitimate portfolio to anyone. Actually, yeh, that’s probably it.
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