Legitimate Rape Is Apparently A ‘Thing’

Todd Akin is a terribly unintelligent garbage truck driver (educated guess) who stumbled into the House of Representatives and was accidentally  appointed as a Senate nominee for Missouri. He then took an interview with KTVI-TV and invented – on the spot I might add – the conceptual clusterfuck that is ‘legitimate rape’. To put it in context, he made a claim that women are not able to get pregnant in cases of ‘legitimate rape’, which proves he’s ignorant in more realms than one. As you scratch your head and wonder what ‘legitimate rape’ even means, find solace in knowing that you’re in one big fat mentally stable cohort of people all doing the exact same thing. Apparently Mr Akin, who’s clearly a lunatic with a complete moral detachment from regular society, is riding the ‘pro life’ wave as justification for his outlandish comments. America, huh?

While Mr Akin has since apologised for his more than awkward wording, people on all sides of the fence still think he’s a wanker who should drop out of his run at candidacy as quickly as he announces his retirement. Personally, I feel severing his testicles to prevent his involvement in procreation would do the job just fine. Ruling out little Akins running around the playground in the future may very well signify the final nail in the coffin of people who don’t understand ‘rape is rape’. While he’ll continue to claim he misspoke, GOP leaders are scrambling across one and other to denounce him, cutting ties faster than Akin himself can destroy his own career. What’s most surprising is that in the 21st century, people are still somehow able to find the fictional gray area within the topic of rape, a nonexistent realm in which all the crazies reside as one weird, delusional conglomerate. It’s a place you don’t want to go and one that most are locked out of thanks to traits like common sense and ethical judgement.

Surprisingly enough, there are other idiots in the world who feel a need to voice their ridiculously twisted views on rape. British MP George Galloway recently took it upon himself to defend Julian Assange during his battle with a Swedish woman who claims she awoke to the Wikileaks founder penetrating her. In a video spread on the internet (these politicians don’t fully understand how the internet works), he explained that having sex with a sleeping woman does not constitute rape. “It might be bad manners” he said regarding the topic, concluding “… but it’s definitely not rape.” The ‘no is no’ concept apparently overwhelmed Galloway, who was completely sure of himself as he voided the ideology despite knowing it’s impossible for an unconscious human to say no. Anyway, if you watch the video the first thing you’ll conclude is that idiots like this are beyond a point of reason. Worryingly though, being a complete moron and being a Member of Parliament are not mutually exclusive terms.

So what did we learn? The one thing the pro-abortion, anti-abortion and general public can all agree on is that Todd Akin and George Galloway are terrible at life. They’re both living, breathing proof that a very straight forward topic like rape, which lacks any single strand of subjectivity, is still not comprehensible by morons who are expected to run countries.

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