Gay Marriage Is ‘Worse Than Smoking’

Stupid people are increasingly prevalent in the media. The barriers of entry into realms like politics are lower than ever – use Queensland’s Campbell Newman as a case study if you’re unsure – so we’re spending more and more time cringing about uneducated remarks made by ‘leaders’ who were repeatedly dropped on their head as babies. No more than a fortnight ago the greater public was shifting around uneasily in their seats following Todd Akin’s comments about legitimate rape (more on that here), but apparently that was just a palate cleanser for ‘moron of the month’ Jim Wallace. Last week Mr Wallace, who’s the Australian Christian Lobby’s managing director, came out with a claim that gay marriage was worse for your health than smoking. In one foul swoop, he single-handedly stamped out any doubts idiocy was a prerequisite for Christian Lobby membership. He also took the heat off old mate Akin, who’s still digging around the archives looking for the defining difference between legitimate and illegitimate rape.

”I think we’re going to owe smokers a big apology when the homosexual community’s own statistics for its health … are that it has higher rates of drug-taking, of suicide … it has the life of a male reduced by up to 20 years. The life of smokers is reduced by something like seven to 10 years and yet we tell all our kids at school they shouldn’t smoke.” Some idiot in Tasmania.

Unfortunately for mankind, his stupidity didn’t stop there. In a long winded debate with Greens leader Christine Milne, he spat forth a barrage of painfully stupid claims in an escapade typical of the ACL’s ideals, underlying homophobia included. When Senator Milne accused the ACL of homophobia and pointed out Christians should hold more focus on poverty rather than homosexuality, he rebutted by calling gay activism “bullying”. His intent was to highlight the fact marriage equality would not reduce risk factors for gay couples or improve the situation. In the same way straight marriage doesn’t boost the employment rate or stop global warming, perhaps he was right about this. Ironically, he brought up the high rate of mental health issues and suicide amongst the gay community to support these claims, both of which are more susceptible in people on the receiving end of discrimination.

The core of his ramblings were based on blurry statistics he’d amassed during his abundance of spare time, clearly clinging to a false hope that exists solely in the eyes of the ACL. Entirely predictable revelations soon surfaced that his statistical data was sourced from flawed US research that was funded by a Christian research group, which really didn’t surprise anyone. The Christians tend to run campaigns on passion, using fiction to spin up ideals they want the world to adopt as they have. It wouldn’t be entirely ridiculous to suggest a cohort of them were held up in a cave like Nike slave laborers, belting out round-the-clock hours in a desperate bid to stop the big bad, virus-riddled and aids-bearing homosexuality monster.

As the spearhead of a party whose representatives have reportedly linked gay equality to Nazis, paedophiles and the stolen generations, his words hold as much merit as that time Snooki told everyone champagne was a great weight loss tool.  Fortunately for people who have a moral compass and don’t openly support stupidity, marriage equality is inevitable. It’s a reform that should have never being questioned, but now that we’re at the crossroads it’s hardly surprising crazy vocal Christians are the main opposition. God bless ’em.

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