The Porn Psychology Of An Average Male

Straight blokes love dig dicks, cheating wives and shemales.

Such a statement may seem ridiculous, bordering on crazy, but if an analysis of over one billion online porn searches is anything to go by, it would appear that the male gender has some serious sexual identity issues to resolve.

Digging beyond your typical cheerleader fetish and schoolgirl sadism, computational neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam have published a detailed critique of over one billion web searches, millions of paid porn subscriptions, millions of personal ads, data responses from the world’s most popular porn sites and even 500 000 erotic stories and videos.

The conclusion? We are all slaves to evolution.

Moving beyond our instinctual desire to reproduce, sex has obvious pleasurable side effects but with the recent arrival of internet porn, an overload of visual stimuli has greatly expanded the type of sex we can witness. In the midst of Japanese tentacle porn and Norwegian dwarf gangbangs, there are some fascinating explanations as to why certain types of porn are more popular than others.

For the majority of men, it all comes down to being the alpha male. Whether it’s a naughty schoolgirl being punished, a maid desperate for some extra cash or a boss seducing his secretary, most male-centred porn is based on the same sexual trigger: dominance. According to Ogas and Gaddam, this comes down to how the male brain is wired. In an interview with Time, Ogas said, “…the male brain responds to any single sexual stimulus. A nice chest, two girls kissing, older women — if that’s what they’re attracted to. Any one thing will trigger arousal in a male.”

That makes blokes far easier to satisfy than their female counterparts but it also means that when multiple sexual stimuli are in the one video, we go balls to the wall crazy.

This is where monster cocks and shemales come into play. Although you’d think these wouldn’t be attractive to the average porn viewing heterosexual male, they represent a different type of stimuli that still works to get guys off. In what Ogas describes as an ‘erotical illusion’, shemales have two sexual cues. The first of which is the female figure – breasts, ass, facial qualities and that sort of thing. The second cue is the penis itself, which in evolutionary terms, serves different functions all related to dominance. Marking territory, an expression of sexual interest and even size – all factors that play into being top dog.

There’s evidence to support this within the data. Of the 42 000 most popular porn sites on the internet, over 1000 were dedicated heterosexual porn featuring large penises. In contrast, only three were dedicated to small dicks. Just take a look at your favourite porn site. It will undoubtedly have a category solely dedicated to monster cocks and shemales. Moreover, the number of web searchers for ‘pussy’ only just beats out ‘dick’ by a mere 1,096,614 to 938,134.

But still, why do straight guys find these things so cumpelling? Ogas and Gaddam offer no definite answer purely because the sheer diversity of sexual ticks among humans makes any complete solution utterly impossible. There’s also a massive difference between what blokes are keen for online as opposed to what they’d be willing to do in real life. Nonetheless, there are clues that can be traced back to the pre-Neolithic age, before humanity abandoned its nomadic lifestyle in favour of agriculture and permanent settlements.

In those days, the closest thing to visual porn was the putrid hairy cooch of a nearby female, and competition for sex was almost as violent as a night out in King’s Cross. As a result, the sight of another male’s penis now evokes an urge to outperform all others in the baby making department, something biologists call ‘sperm competition cue’. This also plays into why ‘cheating wives/girlfriends’ is a popular genre. The idea being that when one caveman sees another dude sexing up a female, he becomes more motivated to copulate with her. An image of a big dick with a woman unconsciously threatens a bloke’s self-perceived dominance and, as a result, pushes him to produce more fuck-juice in the hope that his sperm will hit the mark rather than a competitors’.

There are exceptions to the rule. For instance, the sexual interest in MILFs displayed in the number of web searches was almost on par with conventionally sexier and more fertile younger women. This runs against traditional understandings of evolutionary science with the common conception being that men would be more instinctively attracted to younger women who are more likely to produce offspring. Furthermore, MILF porn tends to involve strong, confident women who seduce their younger partners into sex, going against the male’s urge for sexual dominance. Then of course the cum shot happens, which is about as dominant and misogynistic as you can get.

In the expanse of the online world, the average punter has found an almost infinite catalogue of information that serves to both enlighten and indulge. When it comes sexual fantasies, the male population is like a dog that has finally caught up with the postman. Sure, we’ve caught the slippery bastard, but what the hell are we supposed to do with him now? The answer: satisfy every sexual fetish that could possibly exist and masturbate until we cry. Makes you feel kind of bad for the postman though.

So what does this mean for you? Well for starters, you can take a big sigh of relief for ‘accidently’ clicking on that weird European video. Blame thousands of years of evolution instead. But if you want to check out a complete version of Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam’s work, read their book A Billion Wicked Thoughts which also looks at the porn habits of women and gay men.

If this article didn’t raise an eyebrow than the book surely will.
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Words by Dominic Cansdale. Photo by Celeste Canino.

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