What the living fuck are you doing man? I follow your live journal, I’ve read all the books and I have waited. I am still waiting. When I finished the fifth book, ‘A Dance With Dragons’, in 2012, I was excited. I was like, ‘well, the TV show is out, it’s up and running, and sure it took him five years to write book five, but he said that was an exception. He said that book six would be quicker. I’m sure it’ll be here soon!”
And three long years later, you release a chapter. One single, solitary chapter, from Sansa no less. Well thanks George. Why don’t you just punch me in the throat while you’re at it.
More to the point, I was sure George, that you would start to recognise the facts. I’m gonna be straight with you here big guy, and it’s only because I love you and I need you that I am going to tell you the truth. We’re worried about you George. The world is worried about you. Not just you, but this whole world you have created, that we all dive into and live through in the HBO show and the books whenever the hell we can.
The fact is Georgey, you’re 66 years old and not exactly in the best knick for a guy your age. You’re not running up mountains or hitting the treadmill every morning. There are rumours of you having a heart condition, keeping terribly poor records of the intricate plot, and the kicker is that you write this whole thing on a word processing application from 1978. For us, the fans, it feels more likely that you will kick the bucket before you finish the books and leave us nothing but sadness and cliff-hangers.
Now George, I can safely assure you that nobody wants that. Personally, I hope you live to 120 and get to live out the kind of fan filled, millionaire geek existence that every pox ridden adolescent with a penchant for poetry dreams of. But if you don’t pull your bloody finger out, we’re going to be staring down the barrel of a different situation here.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to rush it. I’m not saying you should just pump out any old crap. Sure, take your time, get it right. All that jazz. What I am saying is, where are your priorities? Did the world really need two Game of Thrones prequels in 2014? Or another release of your super popular sci-fi western Wild Cards? Really?
I also think its great that you are so accessible to your fans, you go to comic-cons, you sign stuff you get photos with adoring well-wishers.
But for the love of fuck George, pull it together. Get back in the room and focus! Right now it’s worse than leaving us hanging – it’s like the world has descended into the zombie apocalypse. People are freaking out, tearing each other limb from limb, and you have the cure, in your mind, you have it. And instead of giving the people what they need, what they want, what could save them all from themselves, you release a book of Tyrion Lannister’s greatest one liners.
Really, George? Really?
Please. I’m begging you here. Finish your damn book.
Words by Patrick Cullen. Photo via Cinema10.
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