This week in weird shit, a documentary about Malcolm Brenner’s “consensual sexual relationship” with a dolphin has debuted at the Slamdance Film Festival in Utah.
Unfortunately for viewers, the aptly titled “Dolphin Lover”quite literally tells the story of Brenner’s transcendental lovemaking experience with Dolly, a dolphin he met at the Floridaland Amusement park in 1970.
Brenner, now 63, was a fresh young 18-year-old when he stumbled across Dolly at a dolphin show. He claims Dolly came onto him. He tried to resist by ‘discouraging her’, but upon further reflection, decided to give it a burl.
At what point do you stop thinking “This dolphin is thrusting on me, what a laugh” and start thinking “This dolphin is thrusting on me, I’m going to put my dick in it”?
Good news though, apparently Dolly became more gentle throughout their nine-month relationship. Nobody likes a rough dolphin in bed. If you’re wondering about logistics, your questions can be answered. In the film, Brenner explains in excessive detail. “I started rubbing her along her back, working my way to her flukes, her tail. And as I was rubbing her and moving my hand towards her tail, Dolly was slowly rolling around her long axis.”
The experience came to an abrupt close when Floridaland closed and Dolly was taken far away in what I can only imagine was a highly traumatic experience for the both of them. Dolly died nine months later.
In 2011, Brenner wrote a novel about the experience, which I mention purely for the name, “Wet Goddess”.
Animal rights activists are understandably pissed, but then again, who can stand in the way of true love?
Written by Josephine Harvey
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Main photo by Cosmic Dolphin.
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