Photo via Chicago Sun-Times
The 86th Academy Award nominations have been announced by Thor and Oscars chief Cheryl Boone, affectionately referred to as ‘Boonie’, and this little lady is sure to be receiving some noise complaints any minute now.
I’ve never been a ‘save your Easter eggs’ kind of girl, so I’m going to reverse the order of the nominations and start with Best Picture. Using only nine of the ten spots available, there were no real surprises here. You’ve got your ‘American Hustle’, ‘Gravity’ and ‘Wolf of Wall Street’—your cinema flicks. Special mention goes out to ‘Her’, a youth-directed, technology-based flick predicted to potentially miss out on a spot for this reason. But I predict this film will help a lot of people come to terms with their relationship with their computers, or Pornhub at least. But it’s still not normal, bro. On the other end of the scale, ‘Nebraska’ is filmed entirely in black and white and you just know the Academy will lap that shit up. And of course, ’12 Years a Slave’, pinned as the underdog of the Oscars. Tragically, Brad Pitt has like, 12 lines toward the end of the film but was named as the first actor on the nominations line-up. Not going to lie, that pissed me off. Luckily the rest of the cast received a little more recognition in the rest of the categories.
BEST PICTURE NOMINEES:
American Hustle
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Gravity
Her
Nebraska
Philomena
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Director was reflective of the Best Picture Category, and reflective was the surface Chris Hemsworth used to practice his smouldering look before the ceremony. Again, ‘Nebraska’ director Alexander Payne got mad props for his black and white flick, as did Steve McQueen for ’12 Years a Slave’, except McQueen refers to it as ‘nigger and white’. Scorsese simply made a film this year, so obviously he’s in the pick and David O. Russell is in it for the ‘Hustle’ (thank you rhyming Gods!).
BEST DIRECTOR NOMINEES:
David O. Russell – American Hustle
Alfonso Cuaròn – Gravity
Alexander Payne – Nebraska
Steve McQueen – 12 Years a Slave
Martin Scorsese – The Wolf of Wall Street
We’re not meant to capitalise entire words or sentences for effect. But the following was so awe-inspiring it got a pass:
LEO GOT NOMNATED! HE’S HALFWAY THERE! I THINK THE INTERNET MAY POSSIBLY BREAK!
I’ll admit, this shamefully huge part of me really wanted him to miss out. Just ‘cause it’d be hilarious. But don’t worry, this way, we get to see his sad face at the Oscars when Matthew goddamn McConaughey potentially beats him. Seriously, this guy exceeded my expectations in ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ by a long way. Admittedly the bar wasn’t set too high from ‘Fool’s Gold’, his role as a skinny rodeo hick with AIDS is well deserving of the nomination at least. Meanwhile Tom Hanks, who missed out on a nomination for ‘Captain Phillips’ is all like “Oh you’re playing a character with AIDS? Real original, McConaGAY.” Another nomination for ’12 Years’ for lead actor Chiwitel Ejiofer who plays Solomon in the film based on true events, and his acting is amazing. I actually felt guilt, pain and serious sympathy for his character whilst watching his performance. It was so real it scared me.
BEST ACTOR NOMINEES:
Christian Bale – American Hustle
Bruce Dern – Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio – The Wolf of Wall Street
Chiwitel Ejiofer – 12 Years a Slave
Matthew McConaughey – Dallas Buyers Club
Looks like the Academy were pushed for time and didn’t get around to watching many films this year, with the supporting actors originating from all the same films except ‘Nebraska’, replaced by Barkhad Abdi for his big screen debut in ‘Captain Phillips’. Another pleasant surprise in this category is Jared Leto, or as I described him to a friend “The guy from ’30 Seconds to Mars’,” to which she replied, “Oh yeah I think I’ve seen that.” Leto plays McConaughey’s right hand man/woman in ‘DBC’ and once again is very deserving of the nomination. Jonah Hill also has himself a nomination for his white-toothed role in ‘Wolf’ and if history repeats itself, he will win. That’s the effect Leo has on his cohorts. He’s like an anti-parasite.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR NOMINEES:
Barkhad Abdi – Captain Phillips
Bradley Cooper – American Hustle
Michael Fassbender – 12 Years a Slave
Jonah Hill – The Wolf of Wall Street
Jared Leto – Dallas Buyers Club
Our girl Cate is pinned for Best Actress for her role in ‘Blue Jasmine’, where she takes her intimidating superiority and channels it into her stuck-up socialite character. Cate’s coming up against former winners Meryl Streep for ‘August: Osage County’ a.k.a. ‘Bleak: Depressing and Gloomy’ and Sandra Bullock for ‘Gravity’ and Judi Dench, who at 79, has said to have played her best role yet—a mother searching for a son she was forced to give up out of wedlock. Whoever had the task of casting the son in that film deserves an Oscar. That woman is unique looking. Finally, Amy Adams got a nomination but she doesn’t deserve it. Her acting in ‘Hustle’ was weaker than her attempts at cleavage.
BEST ACTRESS NOMINEES:
Amy Adams – American Hustle
Cate Blanchett – Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock – Gravity
Judi Dench – Philomena
Meryl Streep – August: Osage County
Staying consistent with the ’12 Years’ and ‘Hustle’ rivalry, Lupita Nyong’o and Jennifer Lawrence are both up for Best Supporting Actress. The pick for supporting actress will also be tricky but just to stay in theme, I hope J-Law wins, just so at 23 she has more Oscars than Leo *evil laugh*. Just to clear this up, I don’t hate Leo. I really like Leo’s movies but if he wins an Oscar for ‘Wolf’ and not for films like ‘Blood Diamond’, ‘Shutter Island’ or even ‘Django Unchained’ it’s just going to seem like the Academy is giving him a sympathy Oscar. This whole predicament made me think of a real life analogy. You know when you meet someone for the first time and you miss their name, then you see them heaps more and you’re all like, ‘Heeeeeyyyyy dude,’ and it just goes on for way too long and it’d just be plain awkward if 20 years into your friendship you have to ask what their first name is? That’s Leo and the Oscars. Anyways back to best supporting actresses! It’ll be a tough one.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS NOMINEES:
Sally Hawkins – Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence – American Hustle
Luptia Nyong’o – 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts – August: Osage County
June Squibb – Nebraska
If I wrote about every single category we’d be here for a really long time and I’m already a newbie so I don’t want to push my luck, but I will just say the complete absence of ‘Saving Mr Banks’ starring Tom Hanks and Emma Thompson, ‘Inside Llewyn Davis’ from the Coen Brothers and ‘The Butler’ with Robert Redford was a surprise to me, as all three were heavily picked to make appearances in these nominations. Well that’s all from me, now a painstaking month and a half until March 2nd when the awards will be given. Let’s talk again then.
Written by Sally Coates
Want more Flicks?
Dallas Buyers Club (read)
August: Osage County (read)
The Demise Of Comedy (read)
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