Good Girls Aren’t Unicorns: You’re Wrong, Preston

Photo via Ayavoo

According to Preston Waters bio, which he undoubtedly wrote himself, he is a ‘thinker’ (congratulations). He is also of the misguided opinion that he’s the ‘ultimate man’s man for Gen-Y’. Unfortunately, his biography omits the glaringly obvious fact he is also an idiot, a claim solidified by his misogynistic Good Girls Have Become Unicorns ‘article‘ that was recently published by Elite Daily, hopefully by accident.

If you’ve had the fortune of not yet reading the painfully long clump of degrading generalisations, don’t. In short, the author believes that the increase in independence of women has a direct correlation with a decline in morals and self-respect. He claims that women have replicated the male mentality, sleeping with more men and caring less about their own self-worth. Throughout the article – a term I’m using extremely loosely – Waters refers to himself as “an asshole that loves to take advantage of women” and says that being a bachelor is fun because “bragging to our friends is epic”. Immature statements like this beg the obvious question: what will his parents buy him for his sixteenth birthday?

Unfortunately, the misogynistic tirade is laced with the author’s true belief that women do not deserve the same privileges as the almighty male gender. He says that “good girls don’t exist anymore”, a claim presumably based on nothing other than his own experiences. These unfounded claims all rest on the premise that multiple sexual partners equal a lack of dignity, which doesn’t apply to men or women. It’s 2013; not a single human on this planet should be forced to bottle up the overflowing beauty that is sexuality.

The epitome of idiocy comes in the second last paragraph, where Preston Waters, oxygen thief extraordinaire, really kicks his inequality up a notch. After spewing out poorly written bile (ad hominem; don’t even care) for almost 1000 words, he states quite frankly that when he does find this virgin ‘unicorn’, he’ll probably cheat on her. He claims it’s all a “double edge sword”, a phrase I’m entirely sure he has absolutely no understanding of.

It was a struggle to continue reading, but I powered on, shunning far more enjoyable activities like severing my own testicles or bashing myself over the head with a brick. I’m glad I did; it takes people like Preston Waters to make the real man’s man understand how very important feminist movements are in the modern day. There is nothing more attractive than a strong, powerful female. A woman who is comfortable and open with her sexuality is a real woman, and no man (besides the fool who forms the centerpiece of this article) wants anything less than that.

Defining a female by how many sexual partners she has had is one of the most vile, immature and backward approaches to what I’d like to call modern society. Though surely Mr Waters isn’t living in 2013, because the views depicted in his article reek of the early 1900’s. To be able to so confidently pen a piece that attempts to reiterate and justify a stone-age paradigm of inequality says as much about the author as it does about the website of which the article was published. It’s a shame such backward logic still exists, but a pleasure to know that our friend Preston has the majority of that stupidity bottled up in his tiny little brain.

Good luck on that unicorn search, Preston.

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Sammy Attwood is the co-founder of Your Friend’s House, enjoys eating brunch and has an Instagram account. He is unable to use Twitter. Read his past articles here.