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Queensland Judge Commends Drug Dealer On His “Good Business Model”

Type the words ‘dealer ‘ and ‘entrepreneur’ into a Google search bar and you’ll get the following top three results:

‘7 Reasons Why A Drug Dealer is a Better Entrepreneur Than You’; ‘Dealing Drugs Made Me an Entrepreneur’; and ‘6 Traits Costa Rican Drug Dealers and Successful Entrepreneurs Have in Common’.

The recurrent symmetries should be unsurprising, really. After all, as any self-respecting cousin who lives out of the back of his Mitsubishi Magna will tell you, peddling pills is a deadset business, mate. Like, fuckin’ legit.

Click your tongue all you like at the legal and/or ethical pitfalls – but if there’s only one thing to be said of the pushers and peddlers of the world, it’s that they often know how to run a pretty nifty operation.

Just ask Ann Lyons, a judge at the Queensland Supreme Court who, earlier this week, was confronted with the case of a 20-year-old man responsible for running a sophisticated methamphetamine operation. Where more traditional dignitaries of the law might have opted for the fire and brimstone approach, Justice Lyons couldn’t help but to pay credit where credit’s due, and commended the young drug dealer on his impressive business sense.

“It obviously wasn’t the best business,” she told the man. “But it’s a good business model.”

And, to be fair, it was. The court heard that whilst peddling meth Brodie Gary Satterley provided price guides, charged interest on outstanding debts and consistently sought out customer feedback – even offering discounts and refunds to compensate customers that lodged complaints about his product.

Slick Satterley also provided utensils, advertised when he was dealing a particularly high-quality product and conducted business strategy meetings. A regular Dick Smith, this one.

In addition to the ‘fair play’ pat on the back, Justice Lyons slapped Satterley with a three-year jail sentence – with immediate parole – and implored him to apply his “quite good skills” towards more beneficial ends.

Possibly by dealing molly, or ketamine, or anything other than ice.

Source: Bayside Star News
Feature image: VICE
Image: Daily Mail

Gavin Butler: