YFH Flicks: Dallas Buyers Club

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“I ain’t no fuckin’ homo motherfucker.”

Welcome to Texas, 1985 where the moustaches are thick, the cowboy hats are so manly they’re still mooing and the harmonica solos are plentiful. Here, we meet Ron Woodroof, a rodeo hustlin’, coke snufflin’ homophobic Texan hick who is technically an electrician but I’d love to see where he got his credentials from, because his first working action is to go at a live electrical box with a screwdriver. Which takes us to the hospital, where Ron is told he has AIDS and has 30 days to live.

Cliché right?! Well that’s what you’d expect, but that’s the best thing about this movie: nothing is what you expect.

Just while we’re on the topic of ‘Things Sally Didn’t Expect’ I feel like I should mention Matthew McConaughey. For this role he got down to 64kgs. Now that may not seem all that amazing to you internet fiends, all skin and bone except for your freakishly muscly dominant forearm, but McConaughey is 182cm. He was rumoured to eat nothing but a small pudding each day. He literally starved himself for this role, to be just perfect and he is. My theory is that because he used to be sexy, all washboard abs and bountiful pectorals, he’s able to add an air of cocky arrogance to this role. Because any guy who’s grown up lanky and gaunt and kind of repulsive-looking is going to have a hard time acting like all the bitches want him. Meanwhile Jennifer Garner also threw herself into her role of Doctor Eve Saks by putting on a fucking pair of glasses and a long white coat. Really giving it a red hot go Jen, good stuff!

So it’s messed up but in DBC, having AIDS makes McConaughey a top notch guy. He turns this hugely negative experience—which yeah, it’s a rough call, but his pre-AIDS character kinda deserved it—into a chance to make him like the Robin Hood of the illegal pharmaceutical drug trade. He goes behind the money-hungry pharmaceutical companies’ backs to find a less toxic drug for AIDS patients, which in this case is more peptides than the Cronulla Sharks would know what to do with. He then sells them privately through his new company, Dallas Buyers Club, to the gays they’ve rounded up from support groups and gay bars.

There is a weak love story between McConaughey and Garner, but the better love story is the one between McConaughey and his supporting main man-lady Rayon (Jared Leto), the prettiest tranny I’ve ever seen with cheekbones that’ll make you swoon. Rayon teaches Ron acceptance of the gays and in the end they’re business partners and best friends, bickering like an old married couple in the supermarket over what’s processed and what’s not. Leto is a massive source of comic relief and helps keep the movie a little light, not that ordering hookers when you’re aware you’ve got AIDS is dark…

DBC is an amazing film which mixes a little bit of debauchery with a strong dash of good intentions to create some truly cringe-worthy scenes along with some that make you fist pump like you’re in da club and Flo Rida just came on. So I’ll never question the motives of a drug dealer again, they could be a good guy drug dealer just like Ron Woodroof (Have I missed the point? Oh well).

Written by Sally Coates

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Categories: Short & Sharp
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