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Stop Comparing Gay Marriage to Beastiality

The argument that if we allow gay people to get married, people will soon marry horses, ducks or inanimate objects is fucking ludicrous. It’s crass at best. What they (the idiots who say this) are trying to argue is that we would be tarnishing the ancient constitution of marriage, and if we allow men to marry other men, or woman to marry other women, people will start marrying everything else that isn’t a God loving Christian. Now, I want to argue the statement – ‘What next, people will marry horses?’

  1. Horses are not capable of cognitive thought. If you married a horse, the horse would have no fucking clue. The horse wouldn’t have consented to the marriage, nor understand the meaning of marriage, nor know who you are, nor what you are, nor where he is. In fact, the only thing the horse would pick up on is the fact there isn’t much grass in the Church.
  2. People (normal ones anyway) aren’t sexually attracted to horses. The term ‘horse face’ is derogatory. No one is saying that Sarah Jessica Parker is attractive when they say she looks like a horse. They’re saying she is an ugly fucking horse. In the Godfather, Mogul found a horses head in his bed. Was he sexually aroused? No; he was fucking mortified.
  3. Having sex with a horse has/will result in death. Either by being split in half, or being filled with more semen than Kim Kardashian could swallow in a lifetime.
  4. Horses don’t deal with break ups well. There is a good reason why the barman asked the horse ‘why the long face?’  The horse was going through a really tricky divorce. His foals were being taken off him, his stable was going to his filly and in all honesty, that hilarious jape by the insensitive barman wasn’t helping. Of course, the horse is aware of his long and grotesque face; that’s why his wife has been cheating on him with the good looking human next door. Wait…
  5. Saying that people will want to marry horses now that they can marry their gay lover is basically saying that gays have the same right as horses. ‘Horses don’t get married, why should the gays? How silly.’ You would compare a non-consenting inter-species marriage, to two men in love, craving the acceptance, respect and rights that other citizens get? You’re literally comparing bestiality/rape with love. Love is legal and natural. Bestiality is repugnant and mortifyingly cruel. I don’t see the resemblance guys.

You can’t choose who you love, therefore you can’t make a law saying who you should love. Love isn’t a choice, but a blessing. It’s corny, but it’s true. And to have laws that discriminate against celebrating love purely because of sexuality seems so cruel to me.

You may say that two people can be in love and not need to be married, I guess. Marriage isn’t everyone’s thing. I’m not sure I ever want to get married. The whole process seems so cliched and over hyped to me. At least I have a choice though. I can marry and divorce as many times as I see fit, to any woman who is up for it; whether it be for fame, or citizenship, or for sex, or just because I’m drunk. I’m allowed to marry any girl I like without a hint of love and yet a friend of mine the same age, with the same values, and the same haircut, can’t get married to the man he truly loves. This is all because a certain amount of God loving people, who apparently make the rules of the world, aren’t okay with it. It’s perplexing.

The whole ‘what next? marry a horse?’ argument is just pathetic fear mongering. People are inventing their own miserable futures. It’s like saying ‘A carbon tax? What next, a tax on rainbows?’ or ‘Boat people? What next, they’ll bomb the Opera House?’ Life doesn’t work that way. I’d say people were jumping to conclusions, but they aren’t. They’re jumping to the ending of tragic fiction novel written by a 3 year old.

For me, lack of equality toward any group of people says to me only one thing: ‘It is not okay to be different. It is not natural to be gay. It is not okay to have different ideals to the ones I force upon you.’ The law says everyone is not equal, so we won’t treat everyone equally. That’s the face of it. Until laws change, equality is a dream.

Written by Christian Eva

Categories: Short & Sharp
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