Karma – The Turkey Slap of Society

Photo by Emily Claire

I am an atheist. The concept of baby Jesus and God makes no sense to me whatsoever and I will probably never understand why people would want to sing weird songs on a Sunday and drink wine from an unsanitary cup instead of sleeping. However, that is completely their choice and I can respect that, just like I hope they respect mine. Having said that, if my below interpretation of Karma offends you in any way, or you can’t take a joke, just stop reading. Instead, you may enjoy reading a nice story while drinking from your dirty cup.


We have all experienced Karma at some point in our lives. Whether it be a pleasant encounter like scoring a free gift, or a somewhat nasty situation like a broken toe. In my case it was a tennis ball flying at my face and ricocheting off my braces at 60km/hr. Situations aside, where did the ‘what goes around comes around’ philosophy come from? Should we be scared of it? In order for us to jip the system of Karma, it is important to know who created this theory so we can overcome its inevitable wrath.

The term Karma is an ancient Hindu theory that believes every action done, no matter how insignificant, will eventually return to the doer with equal impact. Even though this concept is old as fuck, do not be fooled; Karma is still just as prevalent today. Justin Timberlake captures this concept in one of his more intellectual songs of all time. He states “what goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around.” JT’s deeply complex lyrics are one of the many examples of being scorched by Karma’s mighty wrath in contemporary society. So my question is this – is Karma an uncontrollable force that will give us our just desserts, or can this entire concept be rationally explained by science and/or environmental circumstances? Should a bad child be punished if they have learned to be bad from their parents like some sort of destructive domino effect?

One could easily argue that the concept of Karma is completely flawed. You only have to look at pretty much every natural disaster, war and news story in existence to see that people (children especially) are being punished in various ways, for no reason at all. I mean, who gets to decide the severity of the punishment? Is there some weird Karma scale which we don’t know about created by a spiritual being that foresees our actions and punishes/rewards us accordingly? In order to gain some clarity I decided to make my own scale to give myself some piece of mind.

For the noble deed of saving a person’s life I would be showered in riches of all sorts and become re-incarnated as Noel Fielding/ David Bowie; the goblin king. If I were to help the less fortunate, for example stopping fire crackers being flung at Ziggy the bag man from Toowong, I would be praised by Today  (not Sunrise). Consequently, my next life would see me reborn as a nyan cat flying through candy land. If I stole from someone I would be fat and ugly and be potentially reincarnated as a vicious scum-sucking rodent (molerat). Finally, the precarious deed of being a murderer/ rapist would probably lead me to be bound in a straight jacket and likely reincarnated as Corey Delaney or Lara Bingle.

On a more personal note I’m sure every reader can think of some bitch or bastard that has been back handed by Karma’s mighty hand. Coming from a private girl school I can think of at least a dozen wenches that have received EXACTLY what they deserved.  But I guess this is purely because they were slutty whores who were bound to get an STI. Or is it the result of an uncontrollable, unexplained force? I mean, what does it actually come down to? Is Karma purely an idealistic, impractical concept that will never be effectively applied to society?  Or is Karma a completely random force that can strike at any time?

If you are as confused as me about this entire concept, comment below with any your stories or views you may have so we can finally conquer this crazy theory. Remember, no hate comments or you may just get what’s coming to you.

Written by Jennifer Bach

Categories: Short & Sharp
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