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This Legend Tried To Escape A Spinning Washing Machine In Handcuffs

Rick Maisel is a special kind of human.

We’ve all used a washing machine before. We’ve all pegged a pair of soiled panties through the open door of the front-loader, slammed it shut, hit ‘START’ and walked away.

Well Rick Maisel didn’t walk away. Rick Maisel stood and watched and dared to ask the pertinent question: what is it like to be those panties? What is it like to spiral in a pandemonic vortex of water and suds, trapped within the soapy cyclone of your own lavender-scented demise? And then he found out.

“I’m known as the washing machine man,” says Maisel, humbly, as though that’s no big deal whatsoever. “I’m the only person in the world that can escape successfully from handcuffs and leg irons while inside a commercial front-load spinning wash.”

This is the kind of guy you take home to your parents–a man sporting an embezzled leather jacket with his own name spangled across the shoulders. “I can escape from any washing machine, any brand in the world, as long as it has at least a 14-inch store and a 27-inch drum,” he continues, rattling off his skills and expertise like he’s nailing a job interview. “I’ve successfully escaped from 40 brands of washing machine’s in 42 countries.

“Let’s hope this won’t be the brand that kills me tonight.”

What follows is an equally absurd and stressful two minutes, as skinny old Maisel crams himself into the drum of the washing machine, and a worryingly nonchalant assistant in camo-print cargo shorts turns it on. And while it should be pointed out that Maisel doesn’t really escape the washing machine himself, strictly speaking, the ending is truly magnificent.

At the video’s three-and-a-half minute mark, Maisel tumbles forward out of the gaping mouth of the washing machine like a giant newborn baby in a leotard–dripping in fluid, gasping for air, miraculously alive. Then when he says “Oh shit” and puts a hand to his stomach as though he’s about to either vomit or shit himself? Amazing.

Get that man a Foster’s!

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