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Never Trust A Person Who Eats Their Steak Well Done

I have a number of theories in life. One of them is that children who have their crust cut off during their upbringing will be the same people who decide they’re gluten intolerant when they graduate high school. Another is that you should never, no matter the circumstance, trust a person who eats their steak well done.

There are few culinary crimes greater than the overcooking of red meat. Not only do you lose flavour and desired texture, but you actually surrender to the unspoken ideal that you’re a total fucking moron. Unfortunately, as it stands, there’s no proof that people who eat their steak ‘well done’ (which is a really nice way of saying spoilt or overcooked) are untrustworthy cretin, but as sure as the sun will rise, the proof will come.

Petty attacks aside, overcooking your steak is actually bad for you. Not bad in the sense that it tastes like shit, or that by charring it to death you silently tell everyone in the room you’re a fussy eater who should stick to salad. It’s bad for you because there are glycotoxins in red meat,that concentrate when it is overcooked. According to research recently conducted by the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in the US, excess consumption of these glycotoxins can be linked to mental ailments later in life.

These relatively new findings follow evidence presented in 2011 by The University of California that suggested eating overcooked meat (whether it be steak or a burger patty) can double your risk of prostate cancer, even when consumed in relatively small doses.

But scary risks of life-threatening illnesses aside, what the fuck? Why you gotta go burning the shit out of a delicious, tender piece of meat? What do you gain from throwing a juicy eye fillet under the bus and letting it sizzle its way into a blackened grave?

Disgraceful.

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