There’s an entire Family Box of facts about the Golden Arches you might not be privy to. For example, it’s impossible to feel unhappy while staring at cheese cascading down the side of a Big Mac. In the same vein, one cannot feel robbed after splashing out for a serve of fries and a soft serve cone to dip them in. And unless you’re a practicing magician and can pull a meal out of a hat in less than sixty seconds, it’s unfeasible for a human being to grow impatient while waiting for a piping hot QP.
Macca’s is good at making life easier, and science says an easier life is a happier one. If X=Y=Z, then X=Z. This fact is only more pronounced since McDelivery came along, which I’ve used as a launch platform to make 2015 my most enjoyable year yet.
Here, look at a few benefits I’ve already chalked up next to my name:
You’ve been working hard on your assignment all day. Your hunger is peaking but you don’t have the time or resources to create a meal suitable for human consumption. The single onion in your pantry is mocking you. It’s eat and fail or study and die. The panic envelops you. You don’t know what to do. You’ll have to drop out. Just kidding, stress head. It takes two minutes to order McDelivery online and about thirty seconds to answer the door. You’re safe.
On the popular Gen Y topic of not having time to do things (read: poor time management skills), McDelivery is the saving grace of 95% of the dilemmas I encounter a day before an assignment is due. Type McDelivery into Google, order, get fed, keep studying.
There are times in life when no matter who you are, you don’t belong in public. You can be as creative as you want with why that may be, though I need say no more. When in such dire circumstances, I can personally vouch for McDelivery driver’s ability to put on an Academy Award winning performances while masking their judgment. No judgment, no shame, full stomach. The world keeps turning.
I consider myself an amateur cook. If you look up amateur in the dictionary, giant Times New Roman font spelling ‘not that great’ glares back at you. In my quest for a perfectly poached egg, I managed to slice the final fifth of my left index finger off with a paring knife. Spoiler alert: poaching an egg requires zero knives.
The fact I’m so-so at navigating the kitchen without creating danger means I’m welcoming of delivery. Even more so, delivery that involves packaging that I can both eat the food in and throw away once I’m done, all without ever going near the dishwashing liquid (keep out of eyes). McDelivery wins again.
Does the supermarket have a loose change menu? I didn’t think so. I’ve honed my McDonald’s coin purse into a finally tuned vessel, capable of providing me with a banquet of variety for $6. When it comes to delivery, partner up with a few equally talented financiers, gather the silvers and make the call.