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Legend Writes Hilarious Dissection of Airlines ‘Service’

Brooke Boyschau has written for YFH before. She’s a traveller, and spends her time between Australia and just about anywhere in the world. She also has great things to say, and one of those things happened to be this amazing status update regarding her recent experience with Flydubai. If the text isn’t enough, the photo is. Enjoy:

Hey flydubai

In the 36 hour delay you have given me on January 1st as my “welcome to 2017”, I used the time in your shitty hotel room to write your corporate new year’s resolutions for you.

Here is a list of things you can do better to enjoy a more prosperous 2017:

1) As a start, grow a corporate conscience learn how to say the three little words – “We are sorry”. When you have no other merits to speak of as a company, accountability would be an advisable first step.

2) Employ staff who posses an inkling of humanity & professionalism. Incompetent robots just don’t get the job done. Maybe you can work on coding this in at your next team building weekend.

3) Employ staff who understand the basics of customer communication. Learn to answer basic questions like, “my flight has been delayed 36 hours, can you give me any information on when I might possibly get home?”, instead of staring blankly at me like you are a vending machine. You can’t even spit out a coke.

4) Stop telling blatant lies. Clearly honestly and transparency aren’t among your corporate policies, but that’s your call.

5) Don’t tell passengers to “Ring the Customer Service Line” and then not answer the phone for 5 days straight, or even at all. People all over the Middle East & Europe really appreciated that dog act move this weekend.

6) Try showing the mildest hint of respect for your clients who completely waste their money on your sub-standard service. Budget has potential to mean brilliant (think Easy Jet, Norwegian, Virgin America). But with you apparently there’s not a chance.

7) If you’re going to strand your passengers 4,000km from home, send them to a hotel which can at the very least provide basic services – like a bandaid, a piece of stale toast and some luke warm instant coffee to wash it down. And love a 36 hour delay without a courtesy call, text or email.

8) Don’t cancel flights for two days citing “natural causes” when every other airline (Emirates, Sri Lankan, Qatar etc.) is apparently flying to the same destination without an issue. Not to mention the seven other international airports you could send us to across the UAE.

9) Update the spelling error in your brand name, it seems to read as #FlyDubai instead of #LieDubai ?

10) Oh, and give me my money back. A Fly Dubai travel voucher? How ironic.

Happy New Year. (And thanks for breakfast)

Original post here.

The Housemates: