Anti-Vaxxers Are The Worst

One of the most dangerous things in the world is groups of people who get themselves all worked up about shit they don’t understand. Take me for instance: I wouldn’t sit here and tell you how to perform brain surgery on another person. That’d be fucking dumb. Even worse, is if I got a whole bunch of my friends to come to your house and tell you (with little to no medical training behind us) that you should ignore science and just leave your babies immune system to the elements. Sounds dumb right?

Not to a large group of parents in the US and a surprising number of people in Australia. They are choosing to ignore 60 years of peer reviewed medical research and oh, I dunno, the annihilation of polio, measles and a bunch of other fucking nasty diseases in the western world, to align themselves with the anti-vaccination movement.

The basis of their argument lies with this retracted article published in the medical journal Lancet. The article proposed a link between the measles vaccine and autism. Strangely enough, they actually got half of the idea right. There has been a spike in recent times in autism cases in babies. But instead of it being because of the vaccines, doctors and parents have just got better at identifying autism at an earlier age.

But people don’t want to hear that shit. That’s not interesting. That’s not dramatic at all. People want to hear that vaccines cause autism, that they are full of mercury (which totally sent people mad in the 1800s) and that they are without doubt straight from the right hand of Satan. They need to know that it’s all a giant plot by the government to wipe out the working man!

Or was that the storyline of Mission Impossible 2? I cant remember.

Now, the California Health Department is reporting 59 new cases of measles this year. All thanks to a bunch of un-vaccinated kids at Disney Land. This is the kicker for me, because vaccines only work if everyone is vaccinated. That’s how we keep the disease from spreading: we make it so there is no one it can spread to. Then fuck man, measles can hang out, it can chill in the air. It ain’t no thing, and with no hosts, like Rove Live, it will just disappear and we will be all the happier.

See, people also forget about how messed up some of these diseases really are. Last year, 400 people died worldwide every single day because of measles. 400 a day! For every like that Chris Evans gets on his Instagram for a fresh cooked steak or some shit, somewhere else in the world a dude is kicking the bucket because of a completely preventable disease.

It really gets to me. Its like the global warming debate. Like, there isn’t a debate! The science is in. The planet is getting hotter, the ice is melting, shit is hitting the fan. And yet there are still huge sections of society sticking their heads in the sand an ignoring what’s been proven, by people a shit load smarter than they are.

When your pilot says “Please strap on your seatbelts, we are about to hit some turbulence” you don’t jump on top of the seats screaming “Fuck you Pilot! Turbulence is caused by impure thoughts!” No. You put your damn belt on, because that guy has been trained to fly planes. Just like I’ve been trained to drink beer and play video games. Everyone has a talent.

But these fuckers seem to want to completely ignore that concept, and it could be disastrous for the rest of us. If you want an insight into the two distinctly varying opinions on this front, check out these two links. Link number one is the craziest website I have ever seen, which really combines every crazy conspiracy theory with a nice dose of apocolyptic doom and just a dash of religious fervour. The second link is a nice young man, explaining why the anti-vaccination movement think the way they do.
Written by Patrick Cullen.

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