Ever gotten sick of drinking liquid with your mouth? Is the process of getting drunk an unavoidable hassle that you wish you could bypass? Are you an alcoholic?
The Vaportini is here, it’s queer and you can taste the fucking rainbow.
As the alcohol vape-craze continues to rage in the U.S, this innovative piece of genius has now become available in Australia for the first time.
Basically, it’s a handy household appliance that allows you to consume alcohol vapour as it rises off your liquor of choosing, eliminating impurities (and therefore hangovers), giving you immediate effects (you fiendy bastards) and making spirits generally taste much less shit (mmm nothing like the taste of vaped Mishkah in the morning).
The Vaportini site says this invention allows people to ‘imbibe responsibly’. I wonder how long that farce will hold before the media have a field day and the government start calling it a dangerous new drug? (NB: See the nangs conspiracy).
In all seriousness though, the Vaportini is actually pretty classy. In the states, they have entire bars dedicated to them, as the appliance allows consumers to experience the more ‘intricate notes’ of certain drinks. I had no idea what that meant so I went and gave the Vaportini a whirl, filling it up with Frangelico hazelnut liqueur because I’m a massive girl (and because let’s be real, nobody wants to taste the intricate notes of Bundy).
It was like inhaling a bloody Ferrero Rocher. I responsibly imbibed the shit out of that thing – and they were right. No hangover!
10/10, would vape again.
Words by Josie Harvey.