Picture this: it’s a weeknight, and you’ve just met with your friendly neighbourhood drug-dealer and engaged in a business transaction. You bought some bud. A lot of bud. Like, $10,000 USD worth of bud.
But as you drive away from the deal and take a proper look at your purchase, you realise something’s not quite right about all this bud you just bought. Namely: that it’s not bud at all. It’s broccoli.
This was the cruel fate that befell two innocent buyers in Aurora, Colorado last year. The egg was on their face: they felt cheated. So, to rectify the classic mix-up, they organised another meeting with the same dealer – one Tercell Davis, who for reasons unknown referred to himself as ’22 Jump Street’ – under a different name. Their hope was to receive the weed they’d been promised in the first place; or, at the very least, to refund the broccoli.
But when they met with Davis and his partner Sababu Colbert-Evans the next night, the two unlucky punters were once again sold an innocuous bag of A-grade broc. Needless to say, they were irritated – ‘trick me twice shame on me’, and all that – and a kerfuffle broke out between the four men.
Things escalated, bullets started flying, and one of the buyers was copped a shot in the torso. At this point, not one single thing has gone their way.
The man did manage to survive the injury, however, and both Davis and Colbert-Evans were sentenced last week with attempted murder. Colbert-Evans was also found guilty of “distributing an imitation controlled substance” (selling broccoli), “conspiracy to distribute an imitation controlled substance” (planning to sell more broccoli) and reckless endangerment.
“This may be the first time that broccoli has been bad for someone’s health,” said District Attorney George Brauchler.
Source: Denver Post