IKEA – lords of things that are “far cheaper than you’d expect” – have just announced that vegetarian balls will be available in store from April 27th. The new addition is yet another step forward for the shopping giant/assembly king/dining chain, who we can only assume are now considered the benchmark of Australian food halls.
Jokes about how amazing IKEA food is aside, it’s pretty damn good. It’s delicious and filling and everything else you wouldn’t expect from a place that charges $3.49 for breakfast and a dollar for hotdogs. I once spent an entire day in the Logan IKEA food hall talking to a man about a dog and machining my way through shovel loads of meatballs and buckets upon buckets of their strange Swedish interpretation of Coca Cola, which I think they call Julmust. For those playing at home, it’s also a very potent diuretic when consumed in the quantities I indulged in.
According to someone who spends their entire life counting things, Aussies enjoyed nearly 8.5 million IKEA meatballs in 2014. The decision to make a vegetarian version was done so inline with the deafening cries of people who didn’t enjoy any of these 8.5 million meatballs, and the result is a delicious, spherical combo of healthiness (carrot, chickpeas, kale, bell peppers, other vegetables and seasoning). The new vege balls also result in a carbon footprint 30 times less than its cow-based brethren. That’s pretty chill.
And in case you were worried about IKEA giving the new vegetarian balls a name that you can actually pronounce, you need not be concerned: GRÖNSAKSBULLAR.