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Substitute Teacher Who Threw Up In Class Had A Goon Bag In Her Handbag

Substitute teachers were always a mixed bunch, weren’t they? They’d either be a really relaxed elderly person who was just there to “Stay busy” and “Keep out of trouble”, or the reincarnate of satan himself. You’d also cop a few who seemed so detached from reality it left you wondering how they managed to get the bus to school in the first place. I once had a substitute who pronounced “Soccer” as “So-cah-cah” and then had to have the concept explained to her five times. What type of lunatic like that deserves to be around children?

While you no doubt met a few quirky characters on your journey up the school system, it’s fairly unlikely that one of your teachers turned up to school half-cut off goon. Well, one substitute teacher from Florida decided it would be a great idea to bust out the silver sack quicker than a teenage boy can say something racist on Xbox Live.

An incident report from the Lexington County Sheriff’s Department says that Judith Elizabeth Richards-Gartee was sinking a few goonies from an open box that she had in her handbag while students watched and presumably, took notes. Richards-Gartee was so cooked that apparently, she couldn’t even stand up when the school’s administrator rolled into the classroom, so a wheelchair was brought in to cart her off to the nurse’s office.

From the nurse’s office, she transported to the local hospital, presumably because the school nurse isn’t equipped to handle the antics of a fully grown drunk teacher. The school involved issued a statement on the incident Monday morning:

“On Friday, March 10, 2017, it was reported to the Administration of Brookland-Cayce School that a substitute teacher was behaving erratically and appeared to be under the influence of alcohol. This substitute is not an employee of the District, but works for Kelly Services. Kelly contracts with the District to provide substitute teachers.

The Administration responded immediately, removing the substitute from the classroom and sending her to the School Resource Officer. The District has been advised that law enforcement has filed criminal charges against the Kelly employee.”

So there ya go, not only is she facing a disorderly conduct charge but she didn’t get to finish her goon. Sad times.

 

Categories: Breaking (news)
Ethan Gould: