For centuries, the courtroom has been a place of justice, righteousness, and downright petty drama. People have always looked towards lawyers to represent a standard of professionalism and to keep composed no matter the circumstances. If you’ve ever seen the after-party of a Law Ball you know this is a goddamn lie, lawyers are as petty and debaucherous as the rest of us. They’re just pretty good at hiding it come Monday morning.
One lawyer let her thinly veiled rage burst out in a spectacular way, by launching her Iced Coffee at the opposing counsel during a deposition. The drama began in 2015 when artificial intelligence startup Loop AI Labs accused Almawave USA of teaming up with former CEO Anna Gatti to steal trade secrets and generally fuck up their business prospects. In July 2016, Almawave lawyer Thomas Wallerstein was taking the deposition of Roberto Pieraccini when he told Loop’s lawyer Valeria Healy to “Please be quiet.”
Healy didn’t seem to take too well to this, saying “Let’s just go, I’m not going to be here. I have the video of you insulting me.” After Wallerstein reminded the witness that he kinda had a legal obligation to be there, Healy sort of lost her shit, resulting in the rollercoaster of an exchange that follows:
MR. WALLERSTEIN: Sir, I think you should take five and think about it.
MS. HEALY: No. I think you should take a f*****g break. You should take—
(Interruption in proceedings.)
MR. WALLERSTEIN: Oh, my goodness.
MS. HEALY: Take a f*****g break.
MR. WALLERSTEIN: I need help. She just threw her coffee at me. She’s going crazy. Sir, you should get a lawyer. You’re a witness. Oh, my God. Sorry about that. We’re going to go off the record.
“No. I think you should take a f*****g break” sounds like something a disgruntled customer shouts at a waitress after she’s informed her food will 2 minutes longer than expected. After the chaos had settled down, Healy tried to claim that she had simply slammed her cup down very, very hard and Wallerstein’s face and possessions had simply been in the way.
Magistrate Judge Donna Ryu, who resided over the case, called Healy’s actions “shocking and inappropriate,” and slammed the lawyer’s inability to take responsibility. Healy now has to fork out a $250 fine, which sucks because she needed that money for her “Throwing liquids into the face of people who don’t agree with me” budget.