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Horny Bloke Watches Porn on Phone While Driving on the Freeway, Gets Caught

In what could be one of the more raunchier news stories leading up to Christmas, a 50-year-old man has been fined more than $1000 and clocked a few of demerit points after being caught while watching porn while driving on the Monash Freeway.

The poor bugger was caught by an off-duty cop at around 5.30 am. Apparently, the man’s dashboard-mounted mobile wank-wagon lit up the night sky like the Star of Bethlehem, making it very easy for the officer to take down his details and enjoy the show. What makes this story even stranger is the time at which the crime occurred. At 5.30 in the morning, you kinda have to admire the lengths to what a man will go to in order to watch someone else have sex.

Last Saturday, the man was interviewed by police and made full admissions to his early morning adventure and got handed two fines. Interviewing member, Sergeant James Robbins said it was an interesting case, “After 17 years in this job, I thought I had seen it all.” Well James, you’ve clearly been living a sheltered existence because this sort of incident is commonplace in my neighbourhood.

On a more serious note, Sgt Robbins went on to say “We want everyone to be sitting at Christmas lunch this year, and silly behaviour like this is all too often means there will be an empty seat and another life lost.”

Having a crank is probably something that you can save until you get home, rather than in the middle of a freeway. Don’t be caught with your pants down this Christmas and remember to drive safe.

Categories: Breaking (news)
Ethan Gould: