Every now and then, a God amongst men wanders into the proverbial spotlight, pulls down his dacks, and drops a massive deuce in the dead centre of the main State Highway 1 route in Wellington. Most recently, that man was a “clearly drunk” citizen of New Zealand whose public defecation resulted in the extended closure of the entire highway for 45 minutes longer than originally planned.
The incident occurred on Thursday, June 11, as maintenance workers tried prepared to open a newly constructed tunnel. The unnamed man entered the tunnel around 5am, appearing normal. Moments later, a supervisor witnessed him in the middle of the road with his pants down. Soon after, a confirmed shit sighting was made.
The tunnel was scheduled to open in time for peak hour traffic, however the gargantuan dump took workers more than 45 minutes to clean up, resulting in the 45 minute delay of the tunnel opening, and as a result, major impact on traffic throughout the area.
According to authorities, who arrived on the scene soon after, the man had a glaringly simple explanation for his lewd act. “How many times do you get a chance to fucking shit in the tunnel?”
Too true, unidentified man. Too true.