X

Bloke Stabs Himself To Get a Day Off Work

We’ve all done some pretty bad stuff to get out of work. Whether it’s a little white lie and an overdramatic sore throat on the phone to your boss or full blown ebola in the face of a Saturday night stocktake, it’s pretty common to bullshit in order to cop a sickie. Most of the time people don’t actually have the life-threatening illness that they claim, but sometimes you’ve got to take matters into your own hands if you want to seem legit.

Enter 54-year-old Masaru Miura, a Japanese businessman so overcome with stress that he stabbed himself simply to get a day off work. Apparently, old mate told police that he was stabbed by an assailant on his way to work, so obviously he was in need of a day just Netflix and chilling. As police continued to question him they noticed a few inconsistencies in his story and he eventually confessed to stabbing himself with a knife he found near a Subway ticket station. I’d say that not getting a day off work might be the very least of his problems.

Masaru was eventually arrested for interfering with police duties, but there’s clearly something larger at work here. Japan has a strong culture of overworking its employees, last year a government survey showed that a fifth of the country’s employees are at risk of dying from being overworked. If people have to literally STAB themselves just so they can have a rest, something’s not right.

Thankfully, businesses are considering implementing three-day weekends to boost productivity, which will hopefully mean fewer people will have to jam a bloody knife into themselves to get a day off.

Categories: Breaking (news)
Ethan Gould: