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Bloke High On Spice Attacked a Green-haired Woman Because He Thought She Was A Jedi Knight

Drugs make people do really, really weird things. Whether it’s spending 45 minutes looking for your phone under the bed while simultaneously using it as a flashlight, or buying out a 7/11’s entire supply of gum because your gurn simply knows no bounds, drugs can make people do some pretty dumb things. Most of the time, the silly things we do while cooked are pretty harmless and don’t go any further than a bit of lighthearted ribbing on the group chat.

Of course, that’s assuming that you didn’t drink 2 bottles of vodka, smoke synthetic cannabis and try and bottle a lady with green hair because you thought she was a Jedi Knight, which is exactly what Marc Anthony Sefton tried to do. The 31-year-old Englishman was seen staggering around while shouting swear words at pedestrians outside of a supermarket when he saw a lady with green hair walking on the opposite side of the road.

Naturally, old mate decided that the best thing to do would be to chase after her while repeatedly shouting “Jedi Knight”, as most others would in his predicament. The victim, who hasn’t been named, handled things very calmly for saying she had a vodka bottle wielding spice-head on her tail. When faced with the insightful questioning of “Jedi Knight?” She tried to calm him down and ask if he was ok, only for Sefton to say “No, I am not OK, you are a Jedi Knight.”

Beautiful.

After this revelation, Sefton proceeded to execute the extremely dick move of hitting someone in the face with a nearly full bottle of Grey Goose. Understandably, the woman bolted to the nearest police station and proceeded to inform police on what the fuck just happened. Sefton was later found hiding in a nearby garden and lashed out at police like a stray cat when they tried to get him in the back of the van.

The bloody drongo was jailed for 12 weeks and ordered to pay £250 ($400 AUD) in compensation and £115 ($185 AUD) in victim surcharge. Let this be a lesson to you kids out there, DON’T SMOKE SPICE.

Source: The Mirror

Image: Reddit /u/hurxef

Categories: Breaking (news)