Each year, on January 26th, thousands of proud Australians from all around the nation push the boundaries of drunken debauchery and discover new ways to get ratshit, get rowdy and probably get arrested. 2017 was no different– but of those unwieldy thousands, one local Aussie renegade managed to rise head and shoulders above the rest.
21-year-old James Wallace lifted the bar for mortal merrymakers everywhere when he drunkenly got into the seat of his mate’s motorised Esky, chucked a couple of sick mainies up and down a busy street in Camden, New South Wales, and was subsequently arrested for drink-driving.
Whilst only cruising along at a modest 20km/h in a 50 zone, the loose unit blew in at almost three times the legal limit with a blood-alcohol reading of 0.162. Unsurprising, really, given that he’s cutting about on a fucking beer fridge.
Most impressively, though, Jim’s ice box steed packed so much oomph that police decided it ought to classify as a motor vehicle. In keeping with that ridiculous assessment, they then slapped poor old Jim with additional charges for driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle– the lesson being that if you want to get around on a chilly bin then you’d better have your pink and green slips in order.
Now more than ever, the notion of what typifies the Australian spirit is a contentious one. But for better or worse (note: almost definitely for worse) a sunburned ragamuffin getting done for DUI on the back of a motorised Esky has got to be one of the most stereotypical manifestations of the ‘true blue Aussie’ that we’ve seen in recent times. Seriously, this bloke’s one devon sandwich and a tomato sauce stain from southern cross supernova.
Good on him for having a ripsnorter and giving the people of Camden a few LOLs, we say.
Feature image: Fraser Coast Chronicle