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Absolute Tripper Tries to Smuggle Cocaine Under His Stomach Fat

There are many ways to smuggle illegal drugs. Some are difficult, some are painful and some ways make you question whether you have enough brain cells left to actually be doing drugs in the first place. Most people have pretty sure-fire ways of making sure that their goodies don’t end up in the wrong hands, but there’s definitely still room to experiment how best to illegally store chemicals on your body that will most likely prove to be extremely unhealthy for you.

One man from America (Surprise surprise) took the art of hiding drugs to exhilarating new levels and tried to stash some coke under his fat rolls while he was being taken to jail. 48-year-old Texan man Florentino Herrera was stopped by police after driving erratically and missing a stop sign, where he was hightailed to jail.

Old mate admitted to having a couple of Whisky and Cokes but clearly failed to mention that he had cocaine on his person as well. Police actually caught Herrera attempting to ‘destroy’ the cocaine he had hidden under his stomach rolls while he was in the back of the patrol car. In this case, I can only assume that ‘destroy’ is police talk for “Racked some fat lines off his beer gut and then went skitz when he spilled it.”

Herrera was slapped with a DWI, driving while intoxicated, while his bond is set at $35,000. Fuck me, that’s a lot of Whisky and Cokes. In all fairness, props to the man for using his Christmas chub in such a revolutionary way. I for one am on a strict junk food and sugar diet, hopefully, I’ll be ready for Splendour.

Categories: Breaking (news)
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